(above, an old photo from this past summer when I was pregnant with Everett)
It’s been a tough week for a number of reasons. We spent several days recovering from a quick trip to see our dear friend in NYC and I’ve been spending some time doing some soul-searching of my own.
I struggle with finding balance and I don’t doubt it is something that will constantly be evolving.
When I was married and childless, it was finding time for work, social time, me time (what!?), fitness and couple time. (I can’t even believe that was ever the case but that’s irrelevant now.) When Ellery was born I was so consumed with trying to do everything perfectly for her and with her that I lost myself for a bit until I realized it was okay to let others help me so that I could take time to do things to make myself happy. I am in the thick of that same time with Everett now where we are just coming out of newborn phase, sleeping through the night, getting into some actual routines but yet I still feel a bit lost. My balance is off. I’m chalking it up to having a new baby, a rough winter, moving, adjusting to a two-year old with some new behaviors/potty training/new school, etc…
We are inching towards Spring and as I sit and write this post, which is seemingly about nothing other than my reflections, I hear the birds chirping, I have a sleeping baby in the carrier on my chest and a two-year old quietly eating a banana and playing next to me. For this moment, I am grateful.
I know these times in life are precious and fleeting but it doesn’t always mean they’re easy or that you have to be singing “the hills are alive” while skipping around the house with rainbows and butterflies shooting out your backside. Things can be hard and it’s okay to feel that and not be happy all.the.time. It might not get any easier but it will get better. I will get my balance back, it will just take time.